My Father, Our Father

“ and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business? ”

Who is your father? What is his name and what does he do? What kind of man is he and how does he live? Has he been a good father to you? These are questions that can get any kind of answer, raise emotional temperatures to a boiling point, and find a lot of dissatisfaction, pain and mistrust even in grown men and women.

Fathers' roles in people's lives are much different than mothers' because a mother's role is just about instinctual. It's inevitable in all but the worst mothers. The relationship is this close: we come from inside her. But a father: what is he ? We've grown accustomed to what we've experienced of these men—and most often our experience was nothing like the original model.

The Victorian father was a distant, hard working, hard drinking disciplinarian. He felt he mustn't show weakness, and expressions of love betrayed weakness. WWII brought back fathers who were unsure of their roles, and modern society would ridicule and undermine them. Today's fathers are laughed at. Many of them are simply absent, so many kids living only with mothers or with men who are not their dads.

So it's a hard question: “Who is your father?” The ideal is so distant to so many that we have collectively forgotten what a father was meant to be. Father is the source of being: an essential first designer who had the vision of us before we were made, and paved the path for our lives before we ever breathed our first breaths. He provided for our larger needs: home, food, security, education, livelihood. He set a pattern we must follow, especially if we're men: manhood was found in him and imparted by him. Wisdom sat on his brow and his judgments were truth. The ideal father made our mother a happy woman, and his greatest gift to us was that he loved her.

The good father is our first image of God.

Jesus was born with two fathers, His true Father who is God alone, and Joseph who took Mary as his wife for her sake and that of her divine child. When Mary confronted the lad Jesus in the Temple for seemingly hiding from them three days, she said: “W hy hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.” Lk 2:41ff Jesus' response was interesting. “How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business? You speak of my father ? Mother, we both know who my Father is. Why do you pretend otherwise? Is it because you are in front of these holy men? My Father is God and I am doing His bidding as I always have done. Naturally I'd be in His house and following His leading.” Jesus knew His Father from before time and He well understood the ideal, the model of fatherhood in Him. Joseph, a good man though he was, and kindly provider, was not the Father of Christ.

Jesus has a unique relationship to God the Father for there is only one Son of God from all eternity. There can be only one, and that relationship is our parent-child ideal. The Son has learned everything from the Father, obeys Him unquestioningly, reflects His nature and honors Him through His own goodness.

But from the time of Christ's Incarnation, He has shared this relationship with humankind. It is not for everyone , only because not everyone believes and receives it. Jesus said, “ Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.” Matt 7:21 “All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him .” Matt 11:25-27 “In My Father's house are many mansions… I go to prepare a place for you… No one comes to the Father except through Me… If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him… He who has seen Me has seen the Father… He who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him… If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him…” John 14:2-31

Jesus rightly calls the Father “My Father.” He made that distinction clear to Mary in the Temple. But all His life, Jesus gave the Father to you and to me to become Our Father . What was His perfect prayer? “When you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret ; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly… Your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, pray: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name...” Matt 6:4-13 He gave His Father to be Our Father . That was a generous and a selfless gift. Imagine how invaluable that is to every soul who receives it!

Jesus had every right to claim God the Father for His own. “As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father… My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again.” John 10:14-18 “My Father has been working until now, and I have been working… the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do… For the Father loves the Son… As the Father has life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have life in Himself, and has given Him authority to execute judgment… I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.” John 5:16-30

And yet He made the gift clear to us. His Father is now Our Father. “ Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.” Matt 23:9 “Whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you… I do not say to you that I shall pray the Father for you; for the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me, and have believed that I came forth from God.” John 16:23-32 “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matt 5:16 “Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Matt 5:48

What a gift! Every earthly father falls short of the ideal, no matter how good a man he was, no matter how hard he might have tried. As sons of Adam, we are broken and unable to do truly well—and our own fathers failed us just as we fathers have failed our sons. But now God the Father is Our Father through His unique and only native Son who through love has given the Father to us as our own. We can hardly value this enough.

The idea of God is first shaped by the experience of our parents, especially of our fathers. When we first heard of God as our heavenly Father, we may have thought of a hard working distant man who had no time or love for us, or perhaps a dangerous and powerful judge sitting on his throne watching us closely with suspicion that our every mistaken step might be discovered and punished. We may have thought Him abusive, or perverse. We may have imagined Him too busy to notice us sneak into His kingdom. We may have thought Him harried and distressed over the state of the world's affairs. We may have made Him a conservative self-righteous Republican or a liberal kindly and permissive Democrat, and a president who ruled the world from farther away than Washington. God on high is unattainable perfection, someone whose love for us is cool and rational, almost hypothetical and clinical, not warm and personable. This is an understandable but a tragic lie. God is so much better than our best ideas of a father.

By limiting God to a mere reflection of our ideas about earthly fathers, we bring both Him and His creation down to being made in our own fallen image. That misconception needs to change dramatically. Our minds must be renewed, as today's Epistle says, and not conformed to this world. Authority begins with the word “Author,” as God is the author of this world and all its inhabitants, He is the source of our lives. He is that essential first designer who had the vision of us before we were made, and paved the path for our lives before we ever breathed our first breaths. He provides for our larger needs: our earthly home, food, security, all knowledge and wisdom, and how to live. He sets a pattern we must follow. Wisdom sits on his brow and his judgments are truth. Moreover, the Father has loved us so much that He determined from the foundation of the world to sacrifice His own Son to us and for us, that we might have redemption in Him, and through Him be brought back to the Father. Thus should we also be willing to sacrifice our lives, our best efforts, our every moment to Him.

This relationship is one unlike any you have had in anyone else. The more you give yourself to this Father, the more He will fulfill you, build you up, give you life, joy, peace, pleasure, and His power to live a life that is significant, that makes you more and more like Him. You can lean into Him, and not be disappointed. You can trust Him and never feel betrayed. You can pray to Him and know that every prayer is heard. You can love Him and know that He loved you first and best, and that His love will only grow. Every suspicion we've ever harbored about God was not from our true experience of Him, but from our experience of fallen people, mothers and fathers who were just being human, fallen humans, as we are. God the Father is a perfect Father, The Perfect Father who imagined fatherhood before there ever were children. Your trust, your love, and your prayers are never lost on Him. Let Him be your Father, for Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, gives Him to you, shares Him with you, that you too might call Him, My Father.

PFH+